Monday, November 10, 2008

yvette visits the dentist

once upon a time this morning, yvette went to see the oral surgeon in order to remove her painful wisdom teeth. on her way, she realized that there were 4 dentist office locations on the same street, and although she knew what the full name of the building was, she was unable to locate it. finally, she saw something! there was one office with writing ALL OVER IT. it took some deciphering and a few U-turns, but yvette was able to read the familiar title and go inside!

the inside of the dental office was a zoo. kids were everywhere, parents were letting them do whatever they wanted. it was loud and crazy. yvette wondered if it was too late to leave. her name was called. as she waited at the table for the dental assistant to charge for her "consultation", the dental assistant gave yvette some bad news. she told yvette that her insurance would not be covering the removal of her painful wisdom teeth, but after the consultation, she would discuss what yvette would have to pay after they were removed.

shortly thereafter, yvette was taken to a room, where another dental assistant helped her. this dental assistant was very nice, but she was about to go on her break, so she asked another dental assistant to come in. the new dental assistant, who i will call dental ass. for short, rightly earned her title (it is important to note that yvette does not enjoy nor promote the use of profanity, but the stress of the visit and the painful wisdom teeth were getting the best of her). dental ass. walked into the room, looked at yvette's x-ray, and concluded that there were three wisdom teeth that needed to be removed. yvette wondered how long it took dental ass. to figure out that obvious fact. dental ass. then informed yvette that the cost would be $950. "NINE-HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS?!?!?" yvette yelled in her head. she thought about it and decided to call her parents for advice on what to do.

the phone rang. yvette's mom answered. "mom," yvette said, "they said it would cost $950 to get my 3 wisdom teeth removed. the insurance won't pay. what should i do?"

"don't do anything! go get a second opinion somewhere else!" yvette's mom said.

ending the conversation in anger and pain from her horrid wisdom teeth, yvette was so upset that she almost began to cry, and she had every reason to. but she didn't, because her phone rang, and it was her mom again. "if you're in pain, get them removed. we'll figure things out" she said.

yvette told the dental ass. that since her left two teeth were the painful ones, she would like to get those removed in order to opt for a lower cost. the dental ass. quickly replied, "you mean your right two teeth" as rudely as she possibly could. she continued, "you only have one tooth on your left side."

"then how do you explain the extra tooth that's growing on my left side?" yvette replied, with wit and an undertone of snide.

"either you're wrong, or they labeled the x-ray wrong" the dental ass. replied, as though to make yvette feel stupid for being wrong. little did she know that she was the idiot who was about to be proven wrong.

the dental ass. finally had the ingenious idea to put the x-ray down and look inside yvette's mouth. lo and behold! she found two wisdom teeth on the left side. yvette was right. the dental ass. left the room and sent someone else in to give yvette the payment information. i guess dental ass. felt stupid for being so forward with her wrong diagnosis.

the receptionist was sent in her place, and she told yvette that the cost would be $700. yvette got her mom's information and gave it to the receptionist, then she was led out to another waiting area.

it was now 10:30. yvette was going to lose her mind, seeing as she made it to the office at 8:50 that morning. she saw an electrical outlet and thought about how badly she would rather electricute herself instead of waiting for the dentist to come pull her teeth for $700. at 11:15, the first, nice dental assistant came to get yvette. she immediately took her into a room and began to numb her, in preparation for the dentist's work.

the old, funny dentist came in. he took care of business and was so pleasant. although she suffered pain from the removal of her teeth, the dentist and the dental assistant were so nice to her that she nearly forgot that she spent the morning in hell.

even though yvette is still going through a lot, she learned a valuable lesson- never forget that there is good in every situation. yvette admitted to herself that she often refuses to see the good in horrible situations because sometimes it is easier to wallow in self-pity. yvette understands that she will be stressed, and as a matter of fact, she still is. on the other hand, she understands that things will work out eventually.

as for the healthcare system, it is interesting to note that yvette recently watched a documentary entitled sicko, and is determined to live in another country that provides free or low cost healthcare. today's circumstance proved to be a prime example of worthless insurance companies. yvette looked at this situation with a hope that one day, she will be far from these worries in another country, where none of this actually matters.

the end.

2 comments:

Liz! said...

oh my gaaaaaaaaad. how horrible!! i am sorry you had to go through all that!

btw...england has free healthcare...even for tourists!

Yvette said...

i know! and they have cute boys with accents! that's double points!

 
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