stop the world.

The TV is talking
The telephone’s ringing
The lights are all on
And the radio’s screaming
A million distractions are stealing my heart from You

I’m tired and empty
This life is relentless
It weakens my knees
And breaks my defenses
It’s wearing me down and I’m desperate to hear from You

Stop the world, I wanna get out
I need an escape away from this crowd
Just to hear You speak to me

I need to be still before I make a move
I need to be humble with nothing to prove
I need Your Word to show me the truth
I need time-- precious time

Stop the world, I wanna get out
I need an escape away from this crowd
Just to hear You speak to me

Stop the world, I’m ready to listen
Show me sign, give me a vision of heaven
I can hold on to
Stop the world, I need some time with You

Before I can find my voice
I need to hear Your voice
Above all the senseless noise

Stop the world, I wanna get out
I need an escape away from this crowd
Just to hear You speak to me

Stop the world, I’m ready to listen
Show me sign, give me a vision of heaven
I can hold on to
Stop the world, I need some time with You

--Matthew West, Stop the World

all i am is yours?

i'll stand with arms high
and heart abandoned
in awe of the one who gave it all
i'll stand, my soul, lord, to you surrendered
all i am is yours.

tonight at church, todd proctor said something profound. he said that most of the time your heart guides your hands, but sometimes your hands need to guide your heart. this is me allowing my hands to guide my heart. i want to live with an abandoned heart; i want to sincerely mean it when i say that all i am is yours.

reckless abandonment

"this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
when the world was younger
and you had everything to lose"

--Switchfoot; This is Your Life

i don't want to reach the point where i feel like i have something to lose. i really need to be reminded that this isn't the end of the story. God is determined to do something good... i just don't see the good in all this. Spirit, help my disbelief.

how creepy is this!!!

baby born with two faces... aaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!!!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24012024/wid/11915773?GT1=31037

why?

i think it's really funny when i find peace in old crystal lewis songs. this one can't be more true of what i'm feeling at the moment...

My thoughts they overwhelm me
My mind cannot contain
The pain that is within me
Why?
I long for understanding
I live to know the peace
that comes from being sure of something
My eyes are blind to your ways, oh Lord
Yet I've seen you love and care, so...

I rest in your knowing
Though I may not know
I take on your strength as though it were my own
Standing on the promises your word for me provides
I find therein the answer
To the question "Why?"...

My complaint today is bitter
But sweet is your reply
My questioning still lingers though, "why?"
You know each road I travel down
My heart and Yours are one
I just don't see the good in all this
My eyes are blind to your ways, oh Lord
yet I've seen you love and care so...

I rest in your knowing
Though I may not know
I take on your strength as though it were my own
Standing on the promises your word for me provides
I find therein the answer
To the question "Why?"...

Through suffering and sorrow
Comes peace beyond belief
For our present set of circumstances
Serve only to remind us of the gold we can't yet see

I rest in your knowing
Though I may not know
I take on your strength as though it were my own
Standing on the promises your word for me provides
I find therein the answer
To the question "Why?"

--crystal lewis, "why?"

i can't pretend that i have any idea of what's going on, nor can i pretend that i'm not angry and hurt. however, i can try to understand that it is unexplainable for now. i can try to understand that God knows his plans better than i do...

it's not easy. nobody said it would be.

i'm not happy. but the goal of my life is not happiness.

if i could sing this song and MEAN IT, i might actually be on to something...

an unfortunate collection of souls.

i want to be in a community that...

does not leave me alone when times get hard
actually cares how my day is going
is there to listen when i have a breakdown
challenges me to do something with my life.

why is that so much to ask for these days?

i can't sleep.

do you know how terrifying it is to realize that your only hiding place, your last resort, doesn't offer anymore safety?

i know everything will eventually be okay. but why does it take so long to get there? will i ever have that joy again?