death that brought me life; blood that brought me home.

Have I come too casually?
Because it seems to me
There's something I've neglected
How does one approach a Deity with informality
And still protect the Sacred?

Cause You came and chose to wear the skin of all of us
And it's easy to forget You left a throne

And the line gets blurry all the time
Between daily and Divine
And it's hard to know the difference

Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Face down on the ground do I dare
To take the liberty to stare at you
Oh, let me not,
Oh, let me not forget to tremble

What a shame to think that I'd appear
Even slightly cavalier
In the matter of salvation
Do I claim this gift You freely gave
As if it were mine to take
With such little hesitation?

Cause You came and stood among the very least of us
And it's easy to forget you left a throne

Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Face down on the ground do I dare
To take the liberty to stare at you
Oh, let me not
Oh, let me not forget to tremble

The cradle of the grave could not contain Your Divinity
Neither can I oversimplify this love

Oh, let me not forget to tremble

Face down on the ground do I dare
To take the liberty to stare at you
Oh, let me
Oh, let me not forget to tremble

--Nichole Nordeman; Tremble

why does it seem so easy to forget what i'm living for? as a christian, i found my entire belief system on Jesus' death and resurrection. over the past few weeks, i've been so frustrated with myself because of the fact that i have made the cross so ordinary. i've heard the story about a million times since i was 4 years old, and somehow it constantly just becomes another one of those stories. unfortunately, i often have to remind myself of its gravity.

"And now I sing freedom for all my days
It's only by the power of the cross I'm raised
THE KING OF GLORY RESCUED ME"
--Steve Fee; Beautiful the Blood

please be honest when you ask yourself this question: how often do i think about the cross?

i can't help but think that if i thought about the cross as much as i should, my life would be radically different. how differently would i value myself if i was able to see why Christ died for me? how much more would i hate sin if i realized that it was my very own sin that put Christ on the cross?

Jesus, when i think about you and your cross, LET ME NOT FORGET TO TREMBLE.

a series of unfortunate events?

He was throwing grain into the ground below, ground below

With dreary circles of his arm, going slow, very slow

His cap pulled down round his ears to

Hide the smile and watery tears

My loving wife is so wonderful

How small seeds gracefully to grow

Into beautiful things that spring from these rows

With their musical names and musical sound

Dreary birds parade across the dreary sky, but down below

The woman absentmindedly begins to sow, how she sows

the seeds her husband loved so much,

but he's no longer here with us

But her life is so beautiful

As memories continue to grow

Into beautiful things that spring from these rows

With their musical names and musical sound

Beautiful things that spring from these rows

With their musical names and musical sounds, and musical sounds

Distant though I am

Orange, gold, and green

Firing, flaming, colors surround me

I'm always wondering where you are.

I'm always wondering where you are.

Darling shouldn't I be the one wondering

after all I am the one who is gone

I'm always wondering where you are.

I'm always wondering where you are.

Darling shouldn't I be the one wondering

after all I am the one who is gone

I'm always wondering.

I was just wondering.

I was just wondering.

I'm the one...who is gone

Who is gone

But, there's beautiful things that spring from these rows

With their musical names, and musical sounds

Musical sounds

--Eisley; Memories

last night, i watched "a series of unfortunate events" and was deeply intrigued by the moral of the story. in the movie, three siblings were orphaned and tormented by a crazy, money-seeking relative who makes their lives miserable. throughout the movie, each child had an amazing characteristic that they used selflessly in efforts to help their siblings survive through the madness of their circumstances. at the end of the movie, it was noted that they could easily label their lives as a series of unfortunate events; however, it depends on how you look at the situation. if you looked at it from another perspective, specifically looking at each child's character, they shone through each situation. therefore, their lives could be noted fortunate, despite their circumstances.

interestingly, it was a moral that i needed to hear last night. in a struggle with sin, it is easy for me to dispell my life as unfortunate, stagnant, or even worthless. fortunately, God doesn't see my life that way. he wants me to look past my series of unfortunate events and see the small things that shine through my circumstances. he wants me to look past my failures and my hardships and realize that there is more to the story-- there is a fortune in the making.

i want to live like i did.

So far from me, he stands

A man known as disease
He's shaking all the hands of the people he meets
And now you just don't see me anymore
Well, I've been losing everything
You just don't see me anymore
I'll say goodbye

Since you left, she's a mess
She regrets all the things that she could've said
But we fall asleep, never think about anything
We wake to the sound of a phone as it hits the ground
And now you just don't see me anymore
Well, I've been losing everything
You just don't see me anymore
I'll say goodbye

And, oh at the wake, at the wake
I will turn to see a face
Just a face, just a face
So surrounded by a name
What a name, what a name
And we never want to change
What you gave, what you gave
Never wanna let go

So surround me
I need anything and you're everything
I want to live like I did
Before all this hit
To sleep in your arms
To think we'll never fall apart

You know it's, you know it's such a drag
To live your life for a heart attack
To never get a second chance
To say goodbye
To say goodbye
I'll never get to try
You just don't see me anymore
I've been losing everything
I'll say goodbye

--the format; "at the wake"

hotel rwanda

last night, i finally decided to watch hotel rwanda, which is a film that encapsulates the genocide that took place in rwanda in the 90's. my reaction was not at all what i had expected. after the movie, i prayed for God to come back quickly for the first time in my life. not that i've never wanted him to come back quickly, i guess it's just that i have never been so moved by the inhumanity in the world. noting that, i was upset because there are two sides of the story.

on side one, there were the hutu people who were murdering the tsotsis. as i watched the movie, i couldn't help but think of specific lyrics to "oh my God" by jars of clay:

we all have the chance to murder
we all feel the need for wonder
we still want to be reminded
that the pain is worth the plunder...

...babies underneath their beds
hospitals that cannot treat
all the wounds that money causes
all the comforts of cathedrals
all the cries of thirsty children
this is our inheritance
all the rage of watching mothers
this is our greatest offense

OH MY GOD.

the horrifying fact of the matter is that we are all capable of doing what these people did. this is our humanity; this is our sin. how could we let it get so far?

on side two is the scarier scenario. what on earth could be scarier than murder? apathy. there was a specific scene where the main character, paul, thanked a news reporter for recording the terrible acts of genocide. paul was hopeful because he thought that presenting a recording like that would bring some sort of intervention from other countries. as soon as he said it, the reporter (played by joaquin phoenix) said that there would be no help. he said that people would simply "say how sad it is, then keep eating their dinners".

how is it that we live in a place that could be so blinded by comfort? i feel as though we are lying to ourselves when we bypass news like this. how could we live with knowledge of what's happening in the world and not do anything about it?

i couldn't sleep last night. as i sat in my nice, comfortable bed, i couldn't help but think of why i am here, and not there. i couldn't stop thinking about the little girl across the world who is hiding under her bed because someone is going to rape and murder her. i couldn't stop thinking about the 6 thousand kids who die from water related diseases PER DAY! how do we live with ourselves?

God, until you return and fix this mess, help us to do everything in our power to make a difference in this sick world!

holiness.

thank God for his holiness, because it means that he isn't anything like you and i...

the moon is a magnet

The moon is a magnet

Everyone's at it
Everyone's had it

Love is a sadness
Love is a madness
We are the addicts

What are we if we're not in love?
What are we if we're not in love?

These are the cages
A kiss is contagious
It will betray us all
A kiss will betray us all

Somebody told me
That everybody's a phony
Till somebody's lonely

I hope that you're lonely
I hope that you're lonely only
Waiting to phone me...

--jon foreman

turning the other cheek...

in Matthew 5:39, Jesus says "whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also."

something great about Jesus' teaching is that he teaches acts of randomness in response to evil. have you ever noticed that if you do something totally random when someone does something mean to you, it tends to shock the other person and probably stop them from more violence? however, as much as i love randomness, i can't help but wonder why you wouldn't just walk away from someone who has just slapped you.

think of the actual scenario: someone has just slapped you. instead of responding to them in violence, you simply walk away. there can't be any harm in doing that. why does Jesus call us to stay and turn our cheeks? what is the significance of staying in the situation and doing nothing to defend yourself?

in an amazing book that i'm reading entitled The Irresistible Revolution, Shane Claiborne tackles this verse as well. i've been given some extra insight by reading his words, so i will share them with you:

"Jesus is not suggesting that we masochistically let people step all over us. Instead, Jesus is pointing us toward something that imaginatively disarms others. When hit on the cheek, turn and look the person in the eye. Do not cower and do not punch them back. Make sure they look into your eyes and see your sacred humanity, and it will become increasingly harder for them to hurt you."

he goes on to say even more amazingness:

"...When someone tries to sue you for the coat on your back and drags you before the court, go ahead and take all your clothes off and hand them over, exposing the sickness of their greed. When a soldier asks you to walk a mile with them and carry their pack (as was Roman law and custom), don't throw your fist in the air like the Zealots, just walk with them two miles instead of one, talk with them and woo them into our movement by love."

i guess it makes sense to turn the other cheek if i'm really going to live radically for Jesus. as easy as it is to simply walk away, that is not the way that God has called us to live.

Jesus, i pray that i would strive to turn the other cheek, as hard as it may be. I pray that you would give me the courage to fight back with my love and not with my anger.

"The only thing harder than hatred is love.
The only thing harder than war is peace.
The only thing that takes more work, tears, and sweat than division is reconciliation.
But what more beautiful things could we devote our lives to?"
--Shane Claiborne