a series of unfortunate events?

He was throwing grain into the ground below, ground below

With dreary circles of his arm, going slow, very slow

His cap pulled down round his ears to

Hide the smile and watery tears

My loving wife is so wonderful

How small seeds gracefully to grow

Into beautiful things that spring from these rows

With their musical names and musical sound

Dreary birds parade across the dreary sky, but down below

The woman absentmindedly begins to sow, how she sows

the seeds her husband loved so much,

but he's no longer here with us

But her life is so beautiful

As memories continue to grow

Into beautiful things that spring from these rows

With their musical names and musical sound

Beautiful things that spring from these rows

With their musical names and musical sounds, and musical sounds

Distant though I am

Orange, gold, and green

Firing, flaming, colors surround me

I'm always wondering where you are.

I'm always wondering where you are.

Darling shouldn't I be the one wondering

after all I am the one who is gone

I'm always wondering where you are.

I'm always wondering where you are.

Darling shouldn't I be the one wondering

after all I am the one who is gone

I'm always wondering.

I was just wondering.

I was just wondering.

I'm the one...who is gone

Who is gone

But, there's beautiful things that spring from these rows

With their musical names, and musical sounds

Musical sounds

--Eisley; Memories

last night, i watched "a series of unfortunate events" and was deeply intrigued by the moral of the story. in the movie, three siblings were orphaned and tormented by a crazy, money-seeking relative who makes their lives miserable. throughout the movie, each child had an amazing characteristic that they used selflessly in efforts to help their siblings survive through the madness of their circumstances. at the end of the movie, it was noted that they could easily label their lives as a series of unfortunate events; however, it depends on how you look at the situation. if you looked at it from another perspective, specifically looking at each child's character, they shone through each situation. therefore, their lives could be noted fortunate, despite their circumstances.

interestingly, it was a moral that i needed to hear last night. in a struggle with sin, it is easy for me to dispell my life as unfortunate, stagnant, or even worthless. fortunately, God doesn't see my life that way. he wants me to look past my series of unfortunate events and see the small things that shine through my circumstances. he wants me to look past my failures and my hardships and realize that there is more to the story-- there is a fortune in the making.

i want to live like i did.

So far from me, he stands

A man known as disease
He's shaking all the hands of the people he meets
And now you just don't see me anymore
Well, I've been losing everything
You just don't see me anymore
I'll say goodbye

Since you left, she's a mess
She regrets all the things that she could've said
But we fall asleep, never think about anything
We wake to the sound of a phone as it hits the ground
And now you just don't see me anymore
Well, I've been losing everything
You just don't see me anymore
I'll say goodbye

And, oh at the wake, at the wake
I will turn to see a face
Just a face, just a face
So surrounded by a name
What a name, what a name
And we never want to change
What you gave, what you gave
Never wanna let go

So surround me
I need anything and you're everything
I want to live like I did
Before all this hit
To sleep in your arms
To think we'll never fall apart

You know it's, you know it's such a drag
To live your life for a heart attack
To never get a second chance
To say goodbye
To say goodbye
I'll never get to try
You just don't see me anymore
I've been losing everything
I'll say goodbye

--the format; "at the wake"

hotel rwanda

last night, i finally decided to watch hotel rwanda, which is a film that encapsulates the genocide that took place in rwanda in the 90's. my reaction was not at all what i had expected. after the movie, i prayed for God to come back quickly for the first time in my life. not that i've never wanted him to come back quickly, i guess it's just that i have never been so moved by the inhumanity in the world. noting that, i was upset because there are two sides of the story.

on side one, there were the hutu people who were murdering the tsotsis. as i watched the movie, i couldn't help but think of specific lyrics to "oh my God" by jars of clay:

we all have the chance to murder
we all feel the need for wonder
we still want to be reminded
that the pain is worth the plunder...

...babies underneath their beds
hospitals that cannot treat
all the wounds that money causes
all the comforts of cathedrals
all the cries of thirsty children
this is our inheritance
all the rage of watching mothers
this is our greatest offense

OH MY GOD.

the horrifying fact of the matter is that we are all capable of doing what these people did. this is our humanity; this is our sin. how could we let it get so far?

on side two is the scarier scenario. what on earth could be scarier than murder? apathy. there was a specific scene where the main character, paul, thanked a news reporter for recording the terrible acts of genocide. paul was hopeful because he thought that presenting a recording like that would bring some sort of intervention from other countries. as soon as he said it, the reporter (played by joaquin phoenix) said that there would be no help. he said that people would simply "say how sad it is, then keep eating their dinners".

how is it that we live in a place that could be so blinded by comfort? i feel as though we are lying to ourselves when we bypass news like this. how could we live with knowledge of what's happening in the world and not do anything about it?

i couldn't sleep last night. as i sat in my nice, comfortable bed, i couldn't help but think of why i am here, and not there. i couldn't stop thinking about the little girl across the world who is hiding under her bed because someone is going to rape and murder her. i couldn't stop thinking about the 6 thousand kids who die from water related diseases PER DAY! how do we live with ourselves?

God, until you return and fix this mess, help us to do everything in our power to make a difference in this sick world!

holiness.

thank God for his holiness, because it means that he isn't anything like you and i...

the moon is a magnet

The moon is a magnet

Everyone's at it
Everyone's had it

Love is a sadness
Love is a madness
We are the addicts

What are we if we're not in love?
What are we if we're not in love?

These are the cages
A kiss is contagious
It will betray us all
A kiss will betray us all

Somebody told me
That everybody's a phony
Till somebody's lonely

I hope that you're lonely
I hope that you're lonely only
Waiting to phone me...

--jon foreman